A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively named "Administratium". Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Administratium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Administratium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." You will know it when you see it

hahaha...That's great, i'm gonna have to save that one! Thanks for making my day!

worth getting into Mendeleev's Periodic Table alright !

Sounds like my work

And I bet Thymox will create Administratium acid to plaque the Microsoft family of bloated elements.

I wonder how heavy a quark is..they think they've found a star that made outta em..
Thats gotta be some seriously compression...
I'm sure the closer we get to sun the heavier the elements we'll find..

evilly hilarious...

lol! thats a good one!

Hmm, now was that sarcastic or funny? Don't know, but I would like to think it was the latter.

I noticed one potential error, though. You have:
1 neutron
12 assistant neutrons
75 deputy neutrons &
112 assistant deputy neutrons.

This would make a an atomic mass of 199. In order to have the complete atomic mass of 312, you would also need 113 pratrons. Any element that has an unequal number of neutrons and pratrons is an unstable element, which could go to explain why it undergoes regular reorganisation and has a 1/2-life of 3y.

All in all, though, the prospects do look quite dim. If this thing consumes as it passes, even if there is a very limited amount of it around, it will grow and consume all in its path.

Oh, nearly forgot this one.I thought that the genuine mass of a quark was roughly 1/3 that of a neutron/proton...but is made of yet smaller subunits which have ridiculously small mass and have charge, which went to make up all three: neutrons + protons + electrons.