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View Poll Results: Who else recognises this despite the geek version?
Sure do! 8 40.00%
No clue... 12 60.00%
Voters: 20. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 05-18-2005, 01:29 PM   #1
Tinkster
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fortune cookie :)


Who else recognises this? :)

Code:

 The Lord and I are in a sheep-shepherd relationship,
 and I am in a position of negative need.

 He prostrates me in a green-belt grazing area.

 He conducts me directionally parallel to non-torrential
 aqueous liquid.

 He returns to original satisfaction levels my
 psychological makeup.

 He switches me on to a positive behavioral format
 for maximal prestige of His identity.

 It should indeed be said that notwithstanding the fact
 that I make ambulatory progress through the umbragious
 inter-hill mortality slot, terror sensations will no be
 initiated in me, due to para-etical phenomena.

 Your pastoral walking aid and quadrupic pickup unit
 introduce me into a pleasurific mood state.

 You design and produce a nutriment-bearing furniture-
 type structure in the context of non-cooperative elements.

 You act out a head-related folk ritual employing
 vegetable extract.

 My beverage utensil experiences a volume crisis.

 It is an ongoing deductible fact that your inter-
 relational empathetical and non-ventious capabilities
 will retain me as their target-focus for the duration
 of my non-death period, and I will possess tenant
 rights in the housing unit of the Lord on a permanent,
 open-ended time basis.

Cheers,
Tink
 
Old 05-18-2005, 01:59 PM   #2
AlexV
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Re: fortune cookie :)

[POST REMOVED BY ALEXV]

Last edited by AlexV; 05-18-2005 at 09:27 PM.
 
Old 05-18-2005, 02:47 PM   #3
Tinkster
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doh - you weren't meant to tell everyone!
 
Old 05-18-2005, 04:01 PM   #4
DaWallace
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too bad I'm an athiest and it's only vaguely familiar enough to get the joke about it existing, I don't get anything about the content.
 
Old 05-18-2005, 05:04 PM   #5
JunctaJuvant
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"He conducts me directionally parallel to non-torrential aqueous liquid."

Indeed, with his infinite wisdom he has greatly reduced the frequency of Dihydrogen Monoxide related deaths
 
Old 05-18-2005, 09:28 PM   #6
AlexV
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tinkster
doh - you weren't meant to tell everyone!
Oops! Sorry. I've removed the post
 
Old 05-19-2005, 05:51 AM   #7
floppywhopper
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I've heard something similar at funerals
LOL
but I cant see this one making to a funeral
well
not too many anyway

well done Tink
floppy
 
Old 05-19-2005, 03:42 PM   #8
Tinkster
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It's a fortune cookie, I only copy & pasted it, mate :)

I didn't write that
 
Old 05-19-2005, 05:44 PM   #9
williamwbishop
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And oldie but goodie...being in the theology field somewhat, I've heard it a few times, I thought about coming up with something similar for a wedding I'm doing in a few months. I'm atheist, but luckily I can still perform non denominational weddings. This will be my second, and they were wanting something funny. This one doesn't quite fit, but I bet I can rework it so it's not really death reflective.
 
Old 05-19-2005, 05:45 PM   #10
williamwbishop
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Then again, don't most men refer to weddings as funerals?
 
Old 05-19-2005, 06:37 PM   #11
floppywhopper
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Hijack alert
Actually there was a kiwi comedian called Barry Crump who used to do ads for Toyata Hilux that referred to weddings as funerals, LOL I still remember the Hilux going over the cliff after Crumpie and his mate went for a "brew".

and now to un-Hijack
you got all that in a fortune cookie Tink ?
I thought they were supposed to be one-liners like
"Confuscious say - he who put cream in tarts -
not necessarily baker !"
you must be buying top-shelf fortune cookies
LOL

floppy
 
Old 05-19-2005, 09:08 PM   #12
Tinkster
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Quote:
you got all that in a fortune cookie Tink ?
I thought they were supposed to be one-liners like
By no means floppywhopper ... they may be aliased to
fortune -s
(which will only give you short stuff)
on some distros, but there's quite a few VERY lengthy
fortunes about :)

Here's another lengthy one (one of my favourites!) :)
Code:
         A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
                          by Mark Twain

        For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped
to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer
be part of the alphabet.  The only kase in which "c" would be retained
would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later.  Year 2
might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the
same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with
"i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.
        Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear
with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12
or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.
Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi
ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz
ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.
        Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud
hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.


Cheers,
Tink

Last edited by Tinkster; 05-19-2005 at 10:17 PM.
 
Old 05-19-2005, 09:31 PM   #13
JunctaJuvant
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LOL
I tink Mark Twain wud hav luvd 2 snd SMS msgz 2 Hs fRnds
 
Old 05-19-2005, 10:18 PM   #14
Tinkster
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Heh - interesting way of looking at it. I thought he
meant that as sarcasm ;}


Cheers,
Tink
 
Old 05-20-2005, 01:29 AM   #15
craigevil
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"I would rather spend 10 hours reading someone else's source code than 10 minutes listening to Musak for technical support which isn't." Dr. Greg Wettstein

Only two of my personalities are schizophrenic, but one of them is
paranoid and the other one is out to get him.

Whoa...I did a 'zcat /vmlinuz > /dev/audio' and I think I heard God...
-- mikecd on #Linux

It appears that after his death, Albert Einstein found himself
working as the doorkeeper at the Pearly Gates. One slow day, he
found that he had time to chat with the new entrants. To the first one
he asked, "What's your IQ?" The new arrival replied, "190". They
discussed Einstein's theory of relativity for hours. When the second
new arrival came, Einstein once again inquired as to the newcomer's
IQ. The answer this time came "120". To which Einstein replied, "Tell
me, how did the Cubs do this year?" and they proceeded to talk for half
an hour or so. To the final arrival, Einstein once again posed the
question, "What's your IQ?". Upon receiving the answer "70",
Einstein smiled and replied, "Got a minute to tell me about VMS 4.0?"

Fortune is a fun program to play around with when you are bored.
 
  


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