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Bill Gates dies and goes to hell. Satan greets him, “Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever.” Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a PC in the corner.
Without hesitation, Bill says “I'll take this option.” “Fine,” says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer.
Lucifer: That was Bill Gates! Why did you give him the best place of all?
Satan: That's what everyone thinks!
Lucifer: What about the PC?
Satan (laughing): It's got Windows 95! And it's missing three keys!
Lucifer: Which three?
Satan (screaming): Control, Alt and Delete!
Bill Gates dies and goes to Heaven. He is greeted by St Peter who lets him pass the pearlies and shows him to his new celestial abode: a huge mansion with acres and acres of hilly walks interspersed with relaxing golf courses. Bill is very happy.
Some time passes and whilst Bill is out walking in the hills he comes across an old man dressed in very fine clothing. They get talking, they are neighbours after all. It turns out that the old man was the captain of the Titanic. They get on very well, having a good time playing golf and the old captain invites Bill over for a meal.
On arrival, Bill finds that the old man lives in a huge palace with both indoor and outdoor swimming pools, etc, etc. Bill in livid.
He storms over to the pearlies in a fit of rage, and demands that St Peter tell him why he, the richest man on Earth and the owner of the largest software firm that had ever, and will ever exist has only a mansion when the old captain of the Titanic has a palace. St Peter explains that he is not in charge of allocating living quarters, that is the responsibility of God himself.
So, Bill storms over to God and angrily asks the same questions.
"Why do I, the most successful human ever to have lived, get a mansion when he gets a palace? What did he ever do? All he did was sink a ship!"
"Well", said God, "you see, the truth of the matter is that we run your Windows systems here in Heaven, Bill."
"Do continue", retorted Bill.
"And, well, the fact is that the Titanic only crashed the once."
yes i see, i live in the same state as him and used to pas by those big buildings of his to go to the doctor, iv been inside of a few (my gandama used to work at mariot (i cant spell it), and it used to be those little food places for hungry progmarers?(its questionsable werther they hire progrmaers or idiots), nice places, very clean, but he does giv money to cherity a lot, so i cant say he a bad person(altho a bad programer, as he is the head programer at MS if i remember right), but i can say his company is bad, but how i get this i dono, back to topic plz:
VERY FUNNY!!!, must say i do like it, i wonder if Billy boy can survive without a unix like system to use?
According to the Apocrypha (one of the many sets of books that didn't make it into the Christian Bible), Lucifer was one of God's favourites but he raised a war against God. So after God defeated him, He cast Lucifer down and he became the Devil. I think Lucifer was the Star of the Morning.
And that will have to hold you until someone more knowledgeable in these things happens by