Yeah, that is one way to go, although not everything is as clear as something like "apache" would be. By that I mean if you have apache running on any machine, it will be easy to find as apache, but background daemons can run on similiar/different names between distros.
With that in mind, what I would do is take a good look at the /etc/rc2.d directory. Debian boots to runlevel 2 unless you specifically told it to do otherwise, whereas most other distros boot to runlevel 5. That directory is full of symbolic links to /etc/init.d, and anything beginning with the pattern S(number) means start, in the order of numbers ascending from 1 to 100. Anything starting K means kill or don't start.
**WARNING** telling the wrong process not to start will kill your boot. It's one thing if X doesn't start, it's a whole different story when you can't even boot to a login screen. Please don't play with this without a live disk to correct mistakes in starting.
Here is a list of my /etc/rc2.d, and which ones I think I could kill to improve performance.
Code:
K99xdm S20cpufrequtils S20samba S40dhcp3-server
README S20cupsys S20sensord S89anacron
S05vbesave S20dbus S20smartmontools S89atd
S09driverloaderbuild S20dirmngr S20ssh S89cron
S10sysklogd S20exim4 S20vsftpd S91apache2
S11driverloader S20hotkey-setup S20xfs S99acpi-support
S11klogd S20lpd S20xprint S99rc.local
S20acpid S20makedev S21gdm S99rmnologin
S20apmd S20mbmon S21nfs-common S99stop-bootlogd
S20battery-stats S20openbsd-inetd S23ntp S99tpctl
I would change the S to a K on S20acpid, S20apmd, S20battery-stats, S20cupsys, S20exim4, S20hotkey-setup, S20lpd, S20mbmon, S20sensord, S20smartmontools, S20ssh, S20vsftpd, S20xprint, S21gdm, S21nfs-common, S23ntp, S89anacron, S89atd, S89cron, S91apache2, and S99acpi-support. I think that should still boot, but you won't have printing, cron, or any monitor of your battery stats. The ssh listed there is the server, not the client. If you find you want any of these running, you can start/kill it through /etc/init.d/command start|stop.
Again, I'd check what something does before killing it, but if you don't need it, try removing it and getting your memory footprint down.
Peace,
JimBass