Let me start off by saying this is the first time i have gotten linux to properly install on any computer (yay for noobness)
Anyways,
Im using debian's newest release on a p3 850 mhx comptuer with about 600 megs of ram and a Diamond Stealth III video card
For some reason I can only view the desktop with a 640x480 resolution which makes it hard to do anything as most windows are taller then that
any help would be greatly appreiciated
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What window manager/Desktop Environment are you using? Depending on your answer there may be a much easier method than mine.

The universal way would be to edit your /etc/X11/xorg.conf file. There should be a Section "Device" for your video card. A Diamond Stealth should use it's own driver (or possibly fbdev), but I'm not sure what that name would be. Alternatively, you could use Driver "vesa" for guaranteed compatibility, but the vesa driver is very limited.

Next in Section "Monitor" you need to make sure HorizSync and VertRefresh are set properly. I'm not going to go into detail in how to do this, there are plenty of xorg.conf howto's on this site or on google that do a much better job than I would. Setting up a proper Modeline (etc 1024x768) will help as well.

This is easier:

problem... now debian gets to the login screen i login.. then it changes to a 640 and then goes back to the login.... I used the "easy way"

okay even the "failsafe gnome" boot does the same thing the resolution switches and then it switches back and goes to the login screen
any ideas?

I would bite the bullet and learn to edit xorg.conf Instructions here

Normally, the main things you need are:
The correct H and V scan rates for your monitor (in the Monitor section)
the highest resolution you want to use (in the Screen section---Display Subsection)
A suitable driver (in the device section for the video card.)

Also, if you are dumped into a terminal mode, log in and then enter "startx". If it fails, you'll generally find a relevant error message.

If you have continuing trouble, post your xorg.conf here

i fixed it with a re-install
thanks for the help ^_^
for some reason this install automatically added different resolutions but i can video at my high res that my other pc is at so when i kvm my monitor doesnt freak out
anyways thanks again
now to install apache , php, mysql, and all that fun

Well why didn't you mention the kvm in your first post. Whenever I install debian or whatever linux with xorg, if the kvm displays another box while the install sets up xorg the display is borked with vga resolution until I fix it manually. If otoh I keep the kvm switched to the box being installed everything works out just fine with xorg.
After all, you can't expect the installer to setup hardware that isn't connected.

u must have the VGA driver install and working , and then edit the /etc/X11/xorg.conf file , in monitor - depth , and reboot