KDE applications lost their close buttons after upgrade
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First, make sure that all updates have been done. Run apt-get upgrade (or dist-upgrade) until the list comes up clean. After that, log out and restart X - you should be good to go then. KDE often breaks binary compatibility between major versions, so a restart is needed for an upgrade from 3.2 to 3.3. With upgrades within a major version you usually don't have to, though.
You might try renaming all the kde (the .kde directory, .kderc, etc.) stuff in your home directory, or add a new user temporarily, to see if the effect is still happening. If it doesn't happen then, it's most likely something in your personal settings. You should also check out the last week or so's posts to the debian-user mailing list, other folks have had some similiar issues... http://lists.debian.org/debian-user/...1/threads.html